Housemate’s McDonald’s necromancy

Nathaniel Christopher 12 Comments


McDonald's in the microwave
McDonald’s in the microwave

The other day while running errands Housemate decided to bring home some supper from McDonald’s. It really was a thoughtful gesture. Housemate is always buying me McDonald’s. He’s really cool that way.

Usually it’s great, but this time it was a disaster.

He comes back with a Big Mac meal. The Coke is cold. The fries are cold. The Big Mac is cold. Cold McDonald’s food tastes like dog food mixed with wet shoelaces. It’s nasty. Dinner is shot, but at least I have a cold drink. But really, there’s no excuse for this as there’s a McDonald’s not far from our house. Even when I walk there the food is still hot when I come home.

When I ask him “What the fuck?!?” he informs me that he picked it up at a McDonald’s that’s like a half-hour drive from our house! Housemate, who is a chemist and PhD student, completely forgot about Einstein’s theory that McDonald’s food purchased closer to home will probably be lest nasty for Nathaniel and his cat. Shame!

“Just put it in the microwave!” He scolds. “I don’t know what it is you have against the microwave but when I heat stuff up in there it tastes fine.”

He nukes his Quarter Pounder and fries and the kitchen fills up with the aroma of melting stray dogs. It’s wrong. Heating up cold McDonald’s in a microwave has little to do with food preparation. It’s some kind of unholy necromancy.  I don’t know how he can call himself an atheist ‘cause that there was full on sacrifice to the devil.

Although he insists there is nothing wrong with re-heating McDonald’s food he was quite adamant that the above photo NOT be taken or posted anywhere on a blog. But as a journalist and maverick I believe the public has a right to know.

Friends don’t let friends bite into cold McDonald’s food.

I am a resident of Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada who has blogged here for 20 years. I like to share my thoughts and feelings on my own online space. From 1998 until 2017 I worked as a journalist and I hope to use this website as an archive for all of my stories.


  1. I met you in Vancouver at a protest and I have to tell you … your blog is hilarious. I will be sending it to all my friends. Keep up the good work.

  2. You know Janean, I’ve been thinking of getting a crock pot for years now. They’re so cheap and they always seem to be on sale at the Salvation Army. Yes! Please send me some recipes!

  3. Do you have a crockpot? Someone just gave me one and I have made many lovely soups and dinners with it. You and your housemate could enjoy delicous dinners with no fuss and at about the same price or cheaper than takeout 🙂 Let me know if you want any recipes.

  4. Some Jokester had the idea of putting a bucnh of neighborhood cats on Housemates bed and closing the door of his room……..

  5. McDonalds + Microwave is a bad mix ! Don’t do it again if you want to live another year. This was a terrible mistake.

  6. I do not know if it applies in canada, but here mcdonald’s burgers are nuked before they even get to you at some locations. when i ate there i’d seriously have to order my burgers not nuked. I thoroughly reccomend dumping the coca-cola over housemate’s head. Also…they call it a quarter pounder there? I figured they’d call it a 200 gram or some hippie communistic metric shit.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *