“That’s not the best place to take someone’s picture” quipped the nice Shoppers Drug Mart lady in a suburban accent. Yup, as butchy as she is Shantel still bleeds! She needed to get pads and we were right by the drug store – it was a match made in heaven! She only needed one so she left me with the rest of the pack. “This isn’t my usual brand. I just need one for now.” Of course they didn’t sell pads in individual packages and Shantel already had a whole bunch of her usual brand at home so she left the rest of the (unused) pads with me. “What the hell am I going to do with these?” As femme as I am I don’t bleed so my buddy and I got a bit stoned and covered his two dogs with the remaining pads. It was so cute!

“If you were a woman what kind of pads or tampons would you buy?” queries Shantel. After carefully scrutinizing the myriad of feminine options I decided on the Life Brand “Fem” sanitary napkins. Firstly, they were on sale, secondly I like generic brands and thirdly I like that they say “Fem”, as I always aspire to be the better, feminine version of myself. “I’ll tell you why that’s a bad choice,” retorts the very un-feminine Shantel, “That pad has no absorbency whatsoever, it’s usually used as a panty liner for when you are already wearing a tampon. These pads just pick up the extra blood. If you were to wear these and nothing else they’d fill up with blood and you’d have to change it five minutes.”