[Satire] Camilla Parker-Bowles visits Trent over Christmas break
Fact or fiction?
On Friday, December 19, Camilla Parker-Bowles paid a brief visit to Trent University.
The long time mistress of Prince Charles was in Toronto for a fundraiser at the Princess Margaret Hospital. After business in Toronto, she had planned to visit her sister-in-law in the Lakefield area, however, less than an hour before she left Toronto she received her daily itinerary, which included an unexpected stop in Peterborough.
Parker-Bowles arrived at the Peterborough Airport at 10 am and city officials scrambled to find someone “suitable” to meet Parker-Bowles at the airport. The semi-royal onus fell upon MP Peter Adams who described Parker-Bowles as “enchanting.”
Adams recalls his conversation with Parker-Bowles: “I was quite surprised at how down-to-earth she was…not the least bit pretentious.” During their brief exchange of words, Parker-Bowles expressed her desire to bring Prince Charles to her sister-in-law’s cottage in Lakefield next summer.
During her brief stop at City Hall, Mayor Sylvia Sutherland presented her semi-royal guest with a key to the city and a box of Timbits. In a touching acceptance speech, Parker-Bowles expressed her desire to unlock the hearts of everyone in Peterborough. “Although my visit to Peterborough is a brief one, I have already been touched by your warmth and hospitality.” She congratulated the Mayor on her recent election victory and presented her with a portrait of Prince Charles.
After a brief photo opportunity, Parker-Bowles was whisked to the Symons campus where she was greeted by President Bonnie Patterson. Patterson escorted Parker-Bowles to the podium where the assembled dignitaries gracefully listened to the president’s speech about fiscal responsibility and the modern university. Technical difficulties, however, cut the president’s speech short. The visibly angry Patterson curtly presented Parker-Bowles with an honorary degree. Upon receiving her degree the ever-witty Parker-Bowles said, “It’s fitting that I, who has but an honorary life and job should receive an honorary degree!”
Parker-Bowles then joined Patterson and a group of distinguished Trent University students for lunch in the private dining hall at Otonabee College. After three bites of Aramark’s tuna casserole Parker-Bowles said that it was time for her to go, and wished the students “the best of luck both in school and in life.”
