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For four scary months in 2001 I worked at a Robson Street Starbucks in Vancouver. I was a terrible barista (aka coffee bitch), and didn’t last very long. In my brief coffee stint I had the (dis)pleasure of serving many celebrities and notorieties. the most memorable celebrity encounter was that of Bif Naked. This small teenaged girl came to my till and I cheerfully commented, “you have the same hair and fashion sense of Bif Naked – you look just like her!” Immediately my boss leaned over and said “Nathaniel, that is Bif.” It was so cool! At 10:00 am I was downloading her song “Daddy’s Getting Married” and by noon I was serving her tea!

I was probably the only one that sang along to the lyrics of “Daddy’s Getting Married” at her October 3 concert here at Trent. She pumped out my favourite Bif tunes with the notable exception of “Moment of Weakness”. In between her songs she made funny little comments about life. Before she sang “Rich and Filthy” she asked us if we wished we were “filthy rich”, one rambunctious student responded by throwing a cup at her.

She commented that we have a “fucking beautiful campus” here at Trent and that if she was here she’d spend all her time making out in the bushes – not studying. The show briefly became a circus when some guy in the audience screamed a sexist remark at Bif. Upon hearing this slur Bif invited him to come on stage and show the audience his penis. After a few minutes of emasculation he was thrown off the stage and Bif declared: “misogyny has no place in a fucking school”. You go girl!

Nathaniel: Serving you at Starbucks was the highlight of my days in Vancouver… Thanks! Do you still order a short “calm” tea when you go in?

Nathaniel Christopher spends an evening with Bif

Bif Naked: Short hazelnut decaf americano with a million equals.

Nathaniel: What is your connection to Trent University?

Bif Naked: I had a boyfriend in grade two named Trent.

Nathaniel: When is your next album coming out? How does it differ from I Bificus and Purge?

Bif Naked: I am hoping my next record is out by spring 2004. We are still recording it. I think it is the most honest record I ever made. Sonically and lyrically, the heaviest yet.

Nathaniel: In addition to being an amazing musician, you are also an actor. What are your current movie projects and when can we see you on screen?

Bif Naked: I am signed on to three new movie projects. We shall see…

Nathaniel: What were your school days like?

Bif Naked: I was the class clown. I liked school and my straight As were in Francais and English literature classes.

Nathaniel: Hmm… that sounds familiar… Were you a rebel in high school?

Bif Naked: I was always very individualistic. Never a rebel in school – just in my home life.

Nathaniel: You are living proof that one can achieve their wildest dreams without a university education and the cumbersome debt that comes along with it. How do you think a university education can help (or hinder) the careers of aspiring musicians, songwriters and actors?

Bif Naked: I still feel like a failure cause I dropped out of first year (University of Winnipeg) but when I go back to university, which I will, I would like to go into sciences and medicine. I could have never had any use for a B.A. in music or fine arts cause none of it would ever, ever apply in touring and rock and roll. If you want to manage bands, get a business degree. If you want to make records and stuff, go to a technical college and learn pro tools. School of rock and roll is the training that will get you through.

Nathaniel: What is the most unusual origin of a song?

Bif Naked: On my new record one of the songs is from a suicide letter.

Nathaniel: You were born in India, brought up in America, and moved to Canada when you were thirteen. [Nathaniel goes into semi-academic mode here] Canada is a multicultural, multi-ethnic society where the notion of home and homeland is constantly in question; it seems to be an idea that is unique to the individual. What does the idea of home mean to you? Where is your home?

Bif Naked: Just like the Metallica song says, “Wherever I lay my head is home.” I am a truly proud Canadian girl though.

Nathaniel: When was the last time you were in India and do you ever plan on going back?

Bif Naked: I was last in India in 2000 and I plan on returning this upcoming year.

Nathaniel: Is there a significant other in your life at the moment?

Bif Naked: I do like this boy very much but he doesn’t know.

Nathaniel: Why is Vancouver such a fabulous city?

Bif Naked: Vancouver is the best city in the world because of the Canucks (NHL).