I made Wanda’s Macaroni Salad (7,000 calories)!

24 Comments

This cooking video has been making the rounds lately. It shows a super-morbidly-obese woman making a very unhealthy macaroni salad.

If you haven’t seen the video I encourage you to watch it:

Here are the ingredients:

-1 can of sweetened condensed milk
-1 pint of real mayonaise
-1 cup of sugar
-1 cup of white vinegar
-1 lb of elbow pasta
-1 green pepper, 3 stalks of celery, 1 large onion, shredded carrots

The salad has 6805 calroies, 358 grams of fat (68 of which are saturated).

Perhaps it was morbid curiosity or just good old fashioned reckless disregard for my health, but I went out today to buy the ingredients to make the salad. I figured that something so monstrously unhealthy has to at least taste good.

It didn’t.

Wanda's Macaroni Salad

I followed the recipe exactly as she instructs in the video. I let it chill but the end result was an oversweet, gloopy waste of calories.

Sara, the fat lady in the video, says the sweetness is balanced out with the tang of vinegar. It’s not. It tastes overly sweet and creamy. Sort of like a dessert, but with chunks of celery, onions and macaroni. Sara says not to worry about all the dressing. She says it’ll be absorbed by the pasta and vegetables. That hasn’t happened yet. Several hours in the fridge and it’s still somewhat soupy.

Wanda's Macaroni Salad

Say no to Wanda’s Macaroni Salad!

I am a resident of Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada who has blogged here for 20 years. I like to share my thoughts and feelings on my own online space. From 1998 until 2017 I worked as a journalist and I hope to use this website as an archive for all of my stories.

24 Comments

  1. Anyone who says that stuff tastes good when you follow her recipe is LYING.
    That is an abomination for nastiness AND for wasting food.

  2. Christine: I should have mentioned that I suck at meal preparation! And yes, perhaps I was too harsh on our friend Sara. I’m glad it worked out well for you guys though! 🙂

  3. Totally made the macaroni salad. Totally gave me diabetes, but it actually didn’t taste awful when we made it. We followed the recipe, except we used apple cider vinegar instead of white vinegar. I think you judged poor Sara too harshly 🙂

  4. I decided to make this (silly me):
    I made it with the following modifications:
    -Splenda instead of sugar. And a lot less of it: 1/4 cup.
    -I didn’t bother with condensed milk.
    -Carrots+ celery + onion + pepper are now replaced with radish and sun dried tomatoes.
    -I used a lot less mayo.
    -I cut down just how much vinegar was in there because that was what made it so soupy. AND it would make it way too sour.
    It didn’t turn out so soupy with this and was actually edible 🙂

  5. Hey, I was just looking for a macaroni salad recipe because I have yet to find one that is edible. This post was worth the search. Thanks. Hope your roomies feelin’ better.

  6. I am glad to see you are taking an interest in cooking! This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen! haa Thanks for that. I can send you a really good warm potato salad recipe if you are interested in that type of thing, it involves bacon.

  7. Nathaniel, you are my hero for actually creating this monstrosity. Have you seen Precious yet? Bet you’d enjoy the fried chicken and pig’s feet scenes.

  8. Tamara! Run away from the macaroni salad! After about 14 hours in the fridge the goopiness is no more… but it stil tastes god-awful.

  9. Give it over bight in the fridge to marinate.

    Didyou use real mayonaise or miracle whip?

    something like that can make a massive difference.

    I bet it will come together with a night of marination.

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